Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
