:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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