gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I could make wine with my vomit
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
