i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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