I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I will pee on everything he values.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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