Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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