Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Bring me that man meat
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
