Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
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She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
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I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.