we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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