Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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