im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
