Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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