I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Princesses don't give blow jobs
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
