I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize