i just google imaged poop.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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