also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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