He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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