yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
