I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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