laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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