HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
