Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
