he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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