Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
