3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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