I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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