I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
