I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
