Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize