I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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