i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
