so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
