She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
