I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
