just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
is wine microwaveable?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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