it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
