On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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