..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Drake has all the answers
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize