I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize