I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize