i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
