im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
