oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
