You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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