4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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