is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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