Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i think my cat just said my name.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
