I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
operation harelip BJ is a go
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize