Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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