You're so nebulous sometimes
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize