What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
