I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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