Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You pole danced in your parka.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
