finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
