So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
