to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
