He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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