sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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