How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
