Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!