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• (325): View more from Texas

  Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  You went to church with your boobs hanging out?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  How do you feel?

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city

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