I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.