So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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