btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP