I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
