You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
