I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
