he puts the penis in happiness.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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