The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize