It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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