can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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