I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize